Waiting for Someday
It feels like yesterday that we were navigating the wait for our “Someday”.
I used to compare the wait to being on a carousel; feeling it start to slow down, hopeful to get off… then surprised to feel it speeding back up again on day one. Month after month the same disappointing pit in your stomach. The unknown in the wait, especially on that day one, feels unbearable. Thoughts creep in from when will it be my turn to IF it will be my turn.
Everyone has a different journey to “Someday”- months of waiting, years of waiting, loss, secondary infertility, IUI, IVF, surrogacy, fostering, adoption. No one journey more or less significant, equally hard. No one quite understands the heartache in the wait unless they have experienced a journey to parenthood that was different than they anticipated themself. It is hard.
Someday
I wrote Someday when I was in the thick of the journey to our “Someday”. We were sitting outside having a glass of wine on a particularly hard day 1 when a familiar song came on, but the words hit differently in that moment. We both became tearful, and felt a bit more hope after listening.
Things are gonna look up
someday
yeah everything will work out
come what may
and if you put your arms around me
and if we love the night away
then everything will be fine
Somehow, someday.
I decided shortly after that night that I wanted to write this book, a book of hope, in the journey before your someday is here. I thought through each and every page to highlight different triggers that I had when we were trying to conceive- from watching a dad help his daughter pick out an ice cream flavor to watching a family stroll through a farmers market to enjoying holidays with family and friends with beautiful children of their own.
Sometimes when you are in the midst of trying to conceive, it seems like every story ends with a happy ending but your own. It is OK to feel saddened by seeing other people living the happy ending you are waiting for. There is beauty in the wait, even though that is hard to believe when you are in the thick of it.
The journey to you looks different it seems, but our “Someday” is sweeter, that means.
My hope is that my book helps in the wait, but then it is something that you get to share with your "Someday” to show them just how much you loved them, even before they were here.
If you are someone who knows a friend or family member in a season of wait, it is hard to find the right words. “Someday” is a great way to show love and support with a simple message like “thinking of you”.
Although the journey feels isolating, you are not alone.
I shared my story with Shady Grove Fertility that you can read here. An excerpt reads “there will be good days and bad days, but it is important to keep hope in the wait because when your someday comes after the wait, it is the most beautiful transformation yet”.
I am praying for your Someday.
when your someday comes after the wait, it is the most beautiful transformation yet
